*SPOILERS* While Albert ultimately is able to marry the girl of his dreams in Allegra Cole, it is not smooth sailing, even after Hitch takes him on as a client. Shortly after Sara Melas publishes the story about Hitch and his role in Albert and Allegra’s relationship, Albert is provoked by a newsstand proprietor. He makes a remark asking about Allegra’s “performance”, which incenses Albert. He ends up throwing various items at the stand, and causes so much of a disturbance that he ultimately is taken away by the police in handcuffs. But what exactly would he be charged with? The most likely charge here is disorderly conduct. According to New York Penal Law Section 240.20, a person may be charged with this when: ”1. He engages in fighting or in violent, tumultuous or threatening behavior; or2.He makes unreasonable noise; or3.In a public place, he uses abusive or obscene language, or makes an obscene gesture; or4.Without lawful authority, he disturbs any lawful assembly or meeting of persons; or5.He obstructs vehicular or pedestrian traffic; or6.He congregates with other persons in a public place and refuses to comply with a lawful order of the police to disperse; or7.He creates a hazardous or physically offensive condition by any act which serves no legitimate purpose.” Clearly Albert falls under this criteria, notably points 1,2,5, and 7. Under New York state law, this carries a $250 fine and a maximum of 15 days in prison. Albert would certainly be guilty of this, as he would hold no viable means of defense. Based on the flow of the film, it is likely that he just paid the $250 fine.
However, it is possible that, depending on the proprietors injuries or claims, Albert could’ve been charged with third degree assault under the New York Consolidated Laws, Penal Law – PEN § 120.00 Assault in the third degree. This type of assault charge is the least serious, and is classified as a misdemeanor. This carries up to a $1000 fine and one year in prison. Albert would have had an easier time navigating this charge, as a lack of injuries to the man combined with a lack of intent to cause harm on Albert’s part could likely get this charge dropped.
If Albert were to be charged with one or both of these, it is likely that he would receive the minimum penalties and perform community service. This is based of course on Albert having a clean record, which we can assume given his position as an accountant for such a wealthy woman. However, if Albert Resisted Arrest (another misdemeanor that carries a possible $1000 fine and 1 year in prison), the waters become more murky.
Personally, I like that Albert threw a tantrum. It shows more than just his frustration over the increased publicity of his relationship. It also demonstrates Albert’s protective instincts towards Allegra. Even a man making a small comment regarding Allegra’s sex life sends Albert into a fit of unbridled rage and passion. Alas, the police did not seem to agree as they pinned him to the sidewalk to handcuff him.
What do you guys think? Did Albert a crime of passion? Or, did he deserve to be tried to the full extent of his crimes? Comment your thoughts below, and remember to subscribe!-TDF
Scratching My Hitch 